A surrogacy journal

Follow with me on my amazing journey to give a wonderful couple the joy of a second child!

Friday, March 03, 2006

3 weeks already....

I can't believe how time has flown by once again. My sweet little surroson is 22 days old today. Can you believe it? I sure can't. I think about him every day and wonder how he is doing, how he is growing, if he is still sleeping good and being a good little boy for his parents. I miss them all so much. I wish more than anything that we lived closer to each other so I could go for a quick visit now and then.
I've had some really really bad days, mostly in the first days following their leaving to go home. I cried non stop for a couple days. Its hard to explain my feelings other than feeling a loss, and not like the loss of a child, just a loss. I am happy of course for what I have done and for the wonderful family I helped to finish. Other than that, I feel pretty good. I am still in awe with my body. Its such a quick change from being pregnant to not that I'm not used to the fact that I can bend over easily, lift things, carry my little one with ease, and that my jacket fits so loosely. LOL I am fitting into some of my pre-pregnancy pants, have been since about 1 week post partem but still not able to fit into all of them. However, I plan on starting to exercise daily soon. I know that I should probably wait until after my 6 week checkup but I feel good enough that I think I can start slowly. I certainly won't be walking or running miles or lifting heavy weights or anything like that. I'm going to use my yoga ball and some of the exercises that came with it. They look like pretty good low impact ones. Whats going to be cute about it all is that Kylee will probably use one of her little balls and imitate me.
Speaking of Kylee, she finally got in to see the ENT specialist yesterday. Within 2 mins, the doctor was already asking us if we were ready for surgery! We knew it was coming though so we were prepared to say yes. He saw some fluid in her ears again so he had to send her for a hearing test. She has more hearing loss in her right ear than in her left ear unfortunately. He compared the fluid in her right ear to the thickness of glue! Can you imagine....? The only good part about it is that hopefully once the fluid drains, she will NOT have permanent hearing loss. So, the plan is this, she will get her tonsils and adnoids removed and then have tubes put in her ears. All this will be done on March 20th. Yes its pretty soon but you know, I'm sick and tired of her being sick and all that and honestly wish that we could have gotten her in earlier. I am looking forward to having a "normal" child. One who can hear good, breathe good and through her nose, and can actually taste food. I think that she is so picky right now because she can't really taste anything and if she does then it probably tastes funny to her. Plus, with her hearing being improved she will be able to speak better. That will be a blessing.
Well, those are my updates right now. I know I said I would post my birth story and I will sometime. I have it written, but its ended up being 4 1/2 pages long! I just don't know what I can leave out and still have it be what I want it to be. So, I will work on that when I get a chance.
God bless.


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